My love for you may stand before judgment, but indeed it does stand.
A river through mountains; a course set; a road forged.
One fallen long since dark, but that I am forsaken entitles me no grievance whatsoever, as from the moment I loved you I understood to my bones what I was chancing—which was, beyond all question, everything. A dark and empty road, twin chasm to that lingering space inside me. Where once resided that heart long given over, now barren save for tides of sorrow which ebb and flow beneath the aegis of each moon, each day, every day, each breath, every breath, for do I not love you as I breathe?
Still, I cannot curse the fates for this affliction. For how could I not give my heart to one who had so rescued and rekindled it, illuminated and awakened it, discovered and touched within it depths I never knew existed. And so you see, this story is not so much mine as yours, for even the darkness engulfing me is conspicuous for that light it is lacking. Your light.
And oh how you shine.
Not just that light in the darkness, but so too imbuing the light and love of the world, emboldening it, that it might proliferate and endure. The world falls in love with you, and I no different, and if I must suffer the slings and arrows of having permitted it then so be it, though I know not how I might have stayed it. I know not how I might stay it now. My love, my light, my heart given over wholly and beyond all reclaiming. My road, for which I’d not even been searching, set out irrevocably before me. That I have lost the love of my life at least bears witness to the salvation of having found her.
For you I have written more words, countless really, each betraying a faltering soul, than you shall ever know. Every. Single. Day. My heart’s articulation, breathed out silent and unrequited into the fathomless void. So easily did our hands used to find the other, when we walked together, and I cared not what road I traveled so long as I did so with you. And now those ropes of steel you once said bound us have been dropped but if I retain one ambition it is to remind you I have not and shall never, stood down from my post, and should you ever pass this way again you need only reach out your hand to find mine outstretched for it, for you, arms open, as ever they have been, as ever shall they be.
My road is my road is my road but for you, should the day ever come, your sanctuary. A light left on. Your safe harbor, where ‘till the end of my days may you find acceptance, support and love unconditional. Where you may find a friend. For as long as you need, or even for a moment, for you must know I reach to you only in love, not requirement. You need only reach back through the darkness to find me, for never, truly, have I left. I pray your days be filled with light but here may you find a light in the darkness, should it ever befall you, and even as mine pales against the radiance of your own.
Until then, and even should the day never come, I’ll be here, thinking of you, missing you, loving you and wishing with everything I have left for your happiness and fulfillment. Smiling even here in the darkness at your light. It burns so brightly within you, lights the way for so many. It is your burden and your gift, the world is brighter for it, and may it serve you well along your way.
Shine on, sweet girl.